Ah yes, “Christopher,” the Sopranos episode where subtle storytelling goes to sleep with the fishes and we’re treated instead to a 50-minute group therapy session about Italian-American identity. It’s Season 4, and Tony’s crew—normally masters of organized chaos—somehow manage to get upstaged by a Columbus Day parade and a history lesson gone terribly wrong.
The episode opens with Silvio Dante losing his mind over protesters at a Columbus Day parade. Apparently, this is the hill he’s chosen to die on. Forget mob wars, money laundering, or existential dread—this time, it’s personal because someone dared to question Christopher Columbus’ “legacy.” You know, the guy who enslaved half the Caribbean. But in The Sopranos universe, he’s an Italian hero, dammit! The irony writes itself.
Meanwhile, Tony couldn’t care less about Columbus or history—he’s too busy trying to wrangle his perpetually unraveling crew. What follows is a comedy of errors: middle-aged mobsters acting like college freshmen who just discovered ethnic pride on a Wikipedia page. Ralph Cifaretto gets into it with Native American protesters, because of course he does, and the situation escalates faster than a Bada Bing bar fight.
Even better, we get the side story of Carmela attending a luncheon where a guest speaker ruins her illusion of being part of a proud cultural lineage. Watching Carmela’s existential crisis unfold between trays of antipasto is peak suburban tragedy.
By the halfway mark, it’s clear the episode isn’t really about Columbus—it’s about people desperate to find meaning in anything other than their own miserable choices. The mobsters cling to ethnic pride the way addicts cling to excuses, and in doing so, David Chase crafts a brilliant satire that’s so dry you could sand wood with it.
And then there’s the kicker: the episode is titled “Christopher.” Not after the explorer, but the series' favorite fuckup, Christopher Moltisanti—who spends most of the runtime sulking about how Italians never get credit for anything. Which is contradictory, considering his biggest contributions so far have been substance abuse and botched hits.
By the end, no one learns anything, no one grows, and the only thing more bruised than their egos is American history itself. But that’s The Sopranos at its best—pointing a finger at hypocrisy while making sure the audience laughs, cringes, and reconsiders celebrating Columbus Day ever again which now more being aware of his horrific legacy, but to some, it doesn't matter unfortunately.
Verdict:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆ – A brilliant, biting satire disguised as a family meltdown. Equal parts uncomfortable and hilarious, “Christopher” reminds us that pride, ignorance, and denial make for a hell of a Sunday dinner.