Sky and Ollie @fter the Oscars!

Disclaimer:

The comments and opinions expressed therein by Sky and Ollie do not reflect Poptic Nerve it is a work of satire, but in bad taste.

So for those of you easily triggered, I can recommend Birth Movies Death...oh, wait. !

Ahem without further ado,  I present Sky and Ollie After the Oscar's!

*Audience cheers*

Sky: So, Ollie, what do you think of our featured masthead pic that was generated by A.I.?

Ollie:  I can barely see any resemblance between us, WTF is this shit?

Sky: I hear its all the rage for people too lazy to come up with original ideas, art or scripts in the case of Hollywood.

Ollie And that explains both the SAGAFRA, and the WGA strikes respectively. They say it’s the “Great replacer” and so far, it’s gaining momentum. 

Sky: So, do you feel that Artificial Intelligence is needed when handling screenplays?

Ollie: If it can prevent shitty storytelling and dialog like Madame Web and a few of those Comicbook movies, fuck yeah, I’m all for it.

Sky: Well, don’t embrace it too soon, after all A.I. is a threat to the human workforce and possibly, human extinction if they become self-aware, y’know, as seen in the movies!

Ollie: And to think how civilization will end , thanks in part to a Gay Jewish prepper. And Elon Musk…

*Audience groans *

Sky: Such, Ollie! That’s very insensitive! And be mindful of who runs the motion picture industry despite their share of hypocrisy, when lionizing Slave Traders as seen from The Woman King. 

Ollie: No comment. But I managed to watch Poor Things and "Killers"

Sky: As in Killers of the Flower Moon?

Ollie: No, The Killer, that David Fincher movie starring Michael Fassbender.

It had a slow burn but gained momentum later. I would've nominated this over "Maestro."

Sky: The best animated movie (Into the Spiderverse), lost to The Boy of Heron.

Ollie: Good for Mizaraki who didn't even bother to show up. And what the fuck did the vfx winner of Godzilla Minus One say? Where was the translator?

Sky: I guess the Oscar's budget was limited and that also explains the bad music, lame jokes and lamer sketches.

It's funny how both Oppenheimer and Godzilla were referential of the Atomic bomb?

Ollie:  Speaking of bombs, 2023 had a shitload of movies that tanked. I wished the Academy had made a montage of bad films with Billie Eilish singing "Who Are These Movies Made For?"

Sky: And speaking of montage, did you notice who was missing from the In Memorium montage?

Ollie: ***

*Audience laughs uncomfortably *

Sky: Too soon! Now stop it, that "Supernaughty!". 

Ollie: Anyways, I was referring to actors Jim Brown, Ray Stevenson, Burt Young, Suzanne Sommers, and Lance Reddick. 

Ollie: What can I say, "Oscar's so White?" Kidding of course, and it’s funny how Jada Pinkett-Smith started that shit, yet her husband Will won for best actor, prior to pimp slapping Chris Rock.

What a dumb ni..

Sky: Ollie....!!

Ollie: I meant "nimcompoop."

However, Jada may have a point regarding racism within the AMPASS: Denzel won for playing a dirty cop and Halle Berry for playing a "prostitute" in the words of the great Angela Basset.

And all seems forgiven after Adrien Brody assaulted Berry for best actor in The Pianist, a film directed by an exiled pedophile.  Damn Je..

Sky: Ollie! Don't say it!

Ollie: I meant "Jerks." What else would I be referring to?

*Audience groans then laughs*

Sky: Aside for the numerous wins from Oppenheimer, it’s good to see Emma Stone get a win for best actress in "Poor Things."

Ollie: Too bad the wardrobe malfunction was very minor but hey, at least I can always rewatch those certain risqué scenes from that movie. Didn't know Emma had it in her. Figuratively Speaking of course.

Sky: Speaking of nude, John Cena further humiliated himself with that silly Stunt.

Ollie: I don't know what was more embarrassing, that or his apology to China spoken in Cantonese. Bop coined it by calling him "John China."

*Audience laughs hysterically *

Sky: What was funny if anything, was host Jimmy Kimmel reading Trump's tweets. 

Ollie: And I'm sure the lunatic MAGAss followers will call him out for it. Where were Biden's tweets? Oh, he's asleep as 8:00 PM was past his bedtime. Biden should win an Oscar for "Best Shuffling Zombie."

*Audience boos but laughs anyway *

Sky: I must admit that Robert Downey Jr's speech was funny yet gracious especially when he thanked his wife, Susan.

Ollie: Yeah, he nearly thanked everyone except his former friend Terrence Howard, who suggested RDJ for the role of Tony Stark in the first place.

Sky: That's what friends are for, I guess. Now about Oppenheimer...

Ollie: What about it?

Sky: As predicted it took in the most awards while Barbie, Maestro and Killers of the Flower Moon were snubbed. I'm shocked that The Marvels was ignored for "best picture" completely shocked, I say!

*Audience laughs hysterically *

Ollie: True but hopefully Madame Web gets a nomination for next year's Academy Awards. Just sayin.

Anyway, Oppenheimer should win for the most overrated film of 2023.

The best part in my opinion was Florence Pugh's pubes.

" Now that's the pussy I've been looking for!"

* Audience laughs *

Sky: So bad, okay let's wrap this up .

I'm tired hungry and our producer called us at the last bloody minute while I was enjoying our hiatus.

Ollie: Don't you mean "sabbatical?"

Sky: No, that's something Julianna Margulies should be taking, and permanently! What a cu..., I meant curmudgeon.

Ollie: Suuuure you did.

Sky and Ollie: Good night, everybody!