Best of Sky & Ollie: 2016 A Crappy New Year!

Originally published at the defunct Supernaughts site, but now unearthed for your consideration...and torment!

Preface:

Now that New Year’s came and went, let's harken back about say, three years ago when there were simpler times, when practically everyone was getting along until the big election of 2016!! And of course, a few haters who decided to piss on one's parade. 😉

Here’s a blast from da past, featuring you’re not so favorite felines, as they talk about the highs and lowdown dirty things during 2016!

Sky: Ello, you sorry sods, this is your pal Sky with ya and on my left side is the always annoying and verbose Ollie. And as you can see "We are still here"....in 2016....at The Supernaughts!

Ollie: A site that as Mr. Scott Colbert said, many had hoped it would it would fail and yet 2 years later, here we are! We even outlasted our original spot.

Sky: Oh the one that rhymes with "Hawkcracker"?

Ollie: Yes, that one as well as PE and by that definition, I'm not referring to the exceptional conscience Rap band-Public Enemy....then again, they kinda died decades ago. Not as relevant as they were during the eighties.

Sky: And speaking of "death", oh what a bloody horrible year 2016 has been. Everyone started out being very optimistic during the arrival of this Year, and on January 10th, the first shot was fired by the Grim Reaper. Legendary Performer, Songwriter and the man who inspired both Punk and Glam, David Bowie had died of Liver Cancer of all things!

Ollie: I guess that means I better cut back on drinking....oh, fuck that noise, I got 8 Lives left!

*Gurgle, glug*

Sky: And they'll be all used up by the time 2017 rolls around. Bowie's passing was only the start of uncanny events to come as many had eventually found out. Celebs have been dying off faster than the Autobots in Transformers The Movie! What the bloody 'ell?!?

It seems that in the "land of the free", there has been an uptick of Police shootings, and with the Police doing all the shooting! One would think that its "Black Season" instead of "Wabbit Season"! These yanks are either poorly trained or....

Ollie: ...woke up saying "y'know, I think I'm gonna kill me a n*993r today"...

Yup, its the latter. There are plenty of good officers who do their best to serve the community but unfortunately, the bad blue apples along with mainstream media (Who profits off sensationalism and misery.) are partly to blame for the retaliatory acts committed against those who were innocent while enforcing the law.

*Ahem*

Sky: Aaww, was that coming from the heart, or are you afraid of any saying anything negative out of fear of repercussions? BUAHUAUH!

Ollie: *Facepalm* Um, er, how about that Muslim who shot a bunch of patrons at a Gay Nightclub? And here's the twist, the shooter is, or rather, was a closeted self-hating Homosexual! "Who knew"? 😸

Sky: I guess his allegiance to Allah wasn’t enough to pray his love for dick away. Then there's other shit like "Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, they say- "All lives matter" but in the end, it's Cats lives, that really matter because not only do we have 9 lives, but 8n the words of the late Ellen Ripley; "At least you don’t see them fucking each other over some goddamn percentage"!

Ollie: Nice, but I like this quote better; “Beware of the beast called man, for he is the harbinger of death-he'll make a desert of your home, and his".

Sky: Sad but quite. But let's not be a pair of cynical shites and focus on the good things from this year.......

*crickets chirping*

Watched any good movies lately?

Ollie: Not really, most of them sucked!

Sky: Apart from one, according to our Boss and Producer of the Sky & Ollie show, Mr. S absolutely, loved Captain America: Civil War!

Ollie: Heh, that's a real "shocking revelation"!

I bet he even owns the expensive Sideshow Collectibles action figures!

I prefer Deadpool, because his persona is in sync with mines.

Okay, I lied, I'm not that vulgar, or am I? Nor would I take it up the poopchute.

 Jus saying.

Speaking of "Civil War", I noticed that there has been a Civil War happening since Donald J (As in "Jerkoff") Trump ran for and WON as the new President of the United States!! This country has never been this divisive since the 2009 Super Bowl! Or if The Force Awakens and Batman Vs Superman are great films!!

Sky: Oh, if ever there were a need to distribute Prozac without prescription, it would most certainly go to the United States, especially when it comes to most of Trump's supporters and the Alt-Right or shall I say the Alt-Reich? What a bunch of Nutbags who think he's the Great Messiah.

I have seen friendships come to a dramatic end and to top it all off, there were even “death threats"!!

Well, mostly from teh "Trumpettes".

Oh, I forgot, people can say ANYTHING as long as they're behind a screen, phone or a desktop/ laptop. *wink* 😼

*Audience laughs*

Ollie: According to Mr. S, there have been a few good things that came from 2016 and he's gonna tell us why!

Sky: Great stuff, as always Mr. S, !

Ollie: Why is he called "Mr. S"?

Sky: Because some dude already took "Mr. X".

Ollie: Ah, our ol buddy Kesh! Whatever happened to that guy?

Sky: Nerdbong (RIP) He will surely be missed.

Ollie: And speaking of the dead, it's time for that segment where we pay our respects to those who made the transition in a year that stinks of death and decay like a certain fat repulsive talkbacker. Too soon?

ROLL 'EM!

Sky: How touching and I loved what he did with Bowie's "Life on Mars".....Hold it!! He forgot to add Gene Wilder!! That bloody knobber!

Ollie : It seems that Antonio Scalia received a dubious "Honorable Mention" at least.

Sky: Be careful because Trump may appoint the next supreme court judge who could really fuck us over! Can you imagine David Duke taking Ruth Ginsburg's place the minute she keels over??

Ollie: And speaking of "predictions" for 2017, what do think will happen during next year?

Sky: Other than rioting in the streets, the collapse of the economy and the stuff I read from your fictional best seller-: Days of Future Present", I would say that there's a new exercise fad that nearly everyone will try. It starts with sitting forward almost like a stomach crunch, then arch your head forward enough to the extent of your lips reaching your bum, so that you will be able to KISS YOUR ARSE, GOODBYE!!

That Orange idiot will get us all killed!

Ollie: I'll try to remain cautiously optimistic and focus on the positives like my New Year's Resolutions.

1. Respect for those whose political differences differ from your very own.

2. Never engage with the trolls no matter how desperate they try to goad or bait because they're obviously miserable individuals who are in a lot of pain.

3. Learn to forgive your haters, because to hold onto a grudge can eat the bearer's insides like Cancer. It's an unhealthy outlook and you'll be all the better for it.

Sky: That"s very mature coming from the likes of you, however you know what they say about Resolutions- No one really follows them!!

*Collective maniacal laughing between Sky and Ollie*

Sky: Happy New Year's Day!