Sky & Ollie's Fookin New Year's!
Just when
Christmas is over, the boyos are back in town to serve leftover HAM to you Turkeys! It’s
Sky & Ollie's Fookin New Year's celebrating the highs and low-down dirty
shame of 2018!
Here are your
hosts, Sky & Ollie!
*Audience
clapping*
Sky: Happy
soon-to-be New Year's Ollie and co!
Ollie: New Year's,
big fucking deal!
Sky: Ols, you
can't say "fucking", we're trying to keep things a bit clean now that
we have a new home (www.popticnerve.com) and with it, a new kindler, gentler
image....
*Both laughing
hysterically, followed by audience laughter*
Ollie: Wasn't
there a famous now infamous comedian who suggested that others within his
field, tone down the harsh language?
Wonder whatever
happened to him?
Oh, wait!
*Audience laughs*
Sky: I can't say
whether he really committed all those crimes or not, but I question those who
would wait decades before coming forth and remember, not all the facts added
up.
Ollie: Some were
legit claims while others were falsified narratives, tryin to get a fat
paycheck outta the deal.Those chicks knew he was married and shit yet hooked up with him so its hypocrisy on both sides!
Sky: Yes and
ironically, most of the accused are still walking free and one of them is
actually running the Whitehouse. He also appointed a drunk fratboy as SCOTUS!
*Shock in awe Music*
Ollie: When you say,
"running the Whitehouse", isn't Frank Underwood dead?
Sky: You idiot!
I'm talking about the Donald, not Kevin Spacey's fictional character from
Netflix's House of Cards!
Ollie: And that
leads to a segue from the various award categories of 2018. The "You gotta
be fucking kidding me" award goes to Kevin Spacey's cryptic message
"Let's be Frank"!
Sky: That's
cryptic as in "batshit"!
I tell you, Ols,
this #Metoo movement is to be taken seriously!
Although it can be
and has been used as a means for personal vendettas. Without due process, said
movement, can be weaponized!
Ollie: And to
think, this all started from some zucchini nosed woman.
Who in the hell
would harass that?!?
*Audience boos**
Ollie: Oh piss off
you twazzers, it was a joke! Well, not really.
You must be the
uptight idiots from the BMD forums!
Sky: Ollie, some
of our audience consists of Women and we must pay an ounce of respect toward
the fairer sex.
Ollie: I'll say
the same thing, I once said to the LBGTQRSTUV community; "If you can take
a dick, you can take a joke"! Why are people so easily offended these
days?
Look at the poor
bastid, Kevin Hart.
Granted he's not
funny at all, but some whiny lil bitches dig through past homophobic tweets he
made nearly a decade ago!
And the
"Sorry, not sorry but I really am a sorry ass" award goes to Kevin
Hart's back n forth apology.
Sky: He might as
well hosted the Oscars after all. So why hasn’t Hollywood come out (Poor choice
of words.) against those comediennes who said far worse about the community?
Ollie: Double
standards, again!
Sky: Ollie....!
Ollie: Jus sayin,
bruh.
Sky: Fair enough,
I guess. Be mindful, we don't want to be accused of saying anything
"hateful", riiight?
Ollie: Oh, I see
where you're going with this. Say wasn't that same accuser angry that Luke Cage
was too "Social Justicey"?
Sky:
And speaking of
shitcanned shows, here's the founder of article series such as "Attack on
the 80's" "Chopping Block" and of course, the S&O Show.
The Man who like
Col. John Matrix of Commando, has made enemies all over the world, (Of
cyberspace internet forums, that is.) our boyo, Stalks who's here to list the
top cancelled shows in the Year 2018!
Ollie: By
"enemies", you meant the sycophant troublemakers, racists,
backstabbers, trolls and their enablers, right? Just asking for a friend. And
without further ado, heeerrreee's Stalkeye!
*Cheers, Jeers and
a few standing ovations *
Stalks: 2018 was
another batshit year of "outragism" "racism" "Neo
Feminism” “terrorism" a few other "jisims", but also, this year
will be remembered as the year of series that we're unexpectedly cancelled.
Chopping Block
presents: "In memoriam"!
Luke Cage
After a
mediocre first season, the Cage series made a huge improvement during its
second run thanks to an immersive storyline, supporting cast which includes
Alfrie Woodward as one vile bitch villainess along with Bushmaster who had a
backstory almost as good as Black Panther's Erik Killmonger!
On a sad note, it
was character actor Reggie Cahill's last performance prior to succumbing to
Cancer.
Needless to say,
Luke Cage wasn't the first Marvel Netflix show to get the axe...
Iron Fist
Those few who
listened to the Netcast Podcast featuring Bop, Rose and I, are aware of my
contempt for this series and despite several improvements ranging from Finn
Jones' fight chorography, solid supporting characters and again, a good villain
backstory, Netflix and Marvel had amicably taken measures to cancel Iron Fist
altogether.
Daredevil
Now, if the
cancellation of both Luke Cage and Iron Fist tugged your heartstrings, the
sudden announcement of Marvel's Daredevil, is the gut punch that’s hard to recover
from because not only was the tentpole
for Marvel Televised Universe, but it introduced the TV viewing audience to one
take hallway fight scenes!
This series was
not only met with critical praise but as with 2008's Iron Man, this franchise
opened doors for other shows within the Marvel/Netflix continuity like the
Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, The Defenders and the Punisher.
Charlie Cox gave
an excellent performance as Matt Murdock, a blind attorney by day but Superhero
at night. Of course, props toward the supporting cast members Wohl, Dawson and
of course Vincent Donofrio as Wilson Fisk.
Roseanne
Just when we
thought we've seen the last of this putrid pleb, like a horror movie monster,
she's baaaaccck... Or rather, was!
As a result, the
backlash was swift-resulting in the cancellation of her self-titled show after two episodes. To add
insult to injury, a new series called The Connors, debuted sans Roseanne. This
time, it was Barr's character that was killed off instead of John Goodman's
Dan.
Megyn Kelly Today
And speaking of
big mouths, NBC was forced to cancel Kelly's Today Show after she defended wearing blackface makeup during a Halloween segment. Well suffice to say, ol
Kelly was quickly removed from her show due to her insensitive comments and
most importantly, low ratings! However, she's receiving a nice severance
package from "Nothing But Cretins". Hey, she can always get a job as
the Grand Marshall for the Sinta Klaus festival in Holland. Megyn, this is for you!
Ash Vs The Evil
Dead
Another one bites
the dust. After three seasons, the engagingly Horror Comedy spinoff of the Evil
Dead films aired its last season during 2018. Bruce Campbell reprises his role
as the titular character Ash Williams, providing over the top laughs and gore.
The finale was bittersweet kinda like Phantasm Ravager, but if there's one way
to close out on both the series and the character himself, this would suffice.
Ash went out with a bang, but not the “bang” he preferred.
Other notable
cancellations include:
Versailles
Orange is the new
Black
Gotham
Seven Seconds
Now excuse me if I
start the new year by pouring a drink for these shows while taking the piss on
Megyn.
Ollie: So, all we
have left now on Netflix is Jessica Jones and GLOW? I guess I’ll check out GLOW
since Bop recommended it. And speaking of "Women's Wrestling", how's
about that beta male who allowed those racist cunts to cut his hair in order to
prevent disqualification from a Wrestling match?
And the
"Thank you sir, may I have another” award goes to..
Sky: Sad state of
affairs we're living in nowadays, Brother and things might get worse for the
upcoming year.
I know in America,
there's this disturbing trend that has White women calling the police on Blacks
who have done absolutely nothing wrong, that's if coexisting is considered a
crime. That being said, the kid should've pulled a Colin Kaepernick and just
refused to comply!
Ollie: And to
think how this all started from the funt called Jennifer Schulte aka
"Barbecue Becky".
And that leads us
to Youtube Video of the Year!
Sky: If only,
Ollie, if only. So, let's wrap this up, shall we? Any predictions for 2019?
Ollie: I'll ask
Alexa, which I received as one of my Christmas stocking stuffers. Introducing Amazon's digital assistant device called Alexa that does everything but cook your breakfast!
Alexa:
In 2019, both Aint
it Cool contributors, Dannie Knowles and Matthew Essary are revealed as an
affront for Harry Knowles writing reviews for his site that he supposedly have
left post groping scandal.
Another prediction
involving "Dirty Harry" is that he will be arrested for entering a
ladies room within the Alamo Theater while looking into female stalls.
Other charges
leveled against Knowles, will be impersonating a female as in his
"Sister" in order to enter the Women's Restroom.
Meanwhile
Contributor Hercules gets beaten to death by a gang of Neoconservatives with a swastika
tattooed on his bare buttocks as seen in HBO'S Oz...
"GIGGLE"
Ollie: What a
fitting "ending" for that loser bitch. Ok, any other predictions?
Future Marvel
projects post Avengers Endgame will still include cameos from the late Stan
Lee..
Ollie: Wait a
second! Isn't he dead? How is that possible??
Alexa: CGI
Former writers
from Talkbacker and Supernaughts will join together to develop a new blog site
......oh, wait..its already happened!
Stalkeye will come
out with a new recording album that consist of more Misfits covers...only 10
mp3 albums were downloaded. Mostly by stoners who got high while listening to
what Stalkeye refers to as "singing" While others use his songs for
their Car alarms or a mugger deterrent device that scares would be criminals.
In the midst of
the #Metoo era, Gynecologists around the world, will be arrested and charged
without due process for sexual assault.
Bop will host his
own radio show called "The Bop Drop" with Jen as his cohost. Said
program will consist of interviewing Movie, Television and Wrestling guests
followed by brutally honest commentary.
It will reach well over a hundred markets in syndication. After Disney
acquired the channel that owns his show, Bop immediately resigned but not
before yelling "Fuck Disney"!
Asimovlives stars
in his own show as an official film critic. Although successful, Asi receives
daily death threats for trashing JJ Abrams and the Alt-Reich, while praising
The Last Jedi.
Meanwhile Dee is
working at Disney's new Star Wars theme park, dressed as an Ewok. Because he's
way too short for a Stormtrooper.
Kim lands a movie
deal with Universal Pictures for a live action adaptation based on his
satirical comic, Studio-Head. starring Kyle Gass and Emily Bett Rickards from
CW's Arrow.
Millions more will
suffer fatalities from Opioid addiction and overdose.
Most of the
fatalities will be backwater inbred racists and rednekkks. Followed by a
massive hurricane storm surge caused by climate change.
It is believed,
that the epidemic will gain more momentum after President Donald Trump gets
impeached. Mike Pence became sitting president until he was caught performing
fellatio in a underground Gay sex club.
Ollie: Now
"Aint that Cool News"!
Sky: Happy New
Years and if anyone out there is offended...
Alexa: "Fuck
you".
Ollie: Good night!
*Audience gives a
rousing applause*
Ending theme: set it off
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