Coulda been a contender: Most disappointing films and Television of 2017!
So, now that 2017 is officially over and done with and now that I have listed
the best Films, Tv and what have ye of said year, now here's the flipside.
Ergo, they "could've been a contender "!
Here are the picks of 2017 biggest disappointments of this
year.
Movies
Atomic Blonde
What started as a cool premise-a female secret agent during
a cold war during the 80's, turns into a weak tour-de-force with dull pacing and
a shoehorned 80's soundtrack!
While some compared AB to a female John Wick, the hyperbole of
Charlize Theoron as this "badass" Action Heroine lacks the punch in
comparison to Keanu Reeves' franchise let alone classic celluloid sirens i.e.
Pam Grier, Sigorney Weaver, Linda Hamilton, etc. The only redeeming thing about 'Blonde, is the one take stairwell fight scene. (If you're thinking about the lesbo scene, GET YER MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER!)
Dunkirk
And speaking of hyperbole, Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk, is a
slow burn exercise of a War movie.
The after 60 minutes in, I found the pacing very dull
despite impressive cinematography. Throughout the movie, there was too much ducking
and not enough shooting.
No real tension despite Hans Zimmer’s dramatic orchestral
cues in which our evacuees were faced with dire situations. Yawn!
I couldn’t feel a sense of dread when the British Compared
to other WW2 epics like Gallipoli or Saving Private Ryan, Dunkirk falls flat.
In hindsight, methinks I rather spend my free time playing Call Of Duty WW2
instead for a fun World War 2 experience.
However, I thought the mysterious fighter pilot-Farrier, was
one of the rare shining moments from Dunkirk.
Harry Stiles' performance was legit from what little I have
seen from him. Also omitting his song "Sign of the Times" for the end
credits is a lame creative decision. Dunkirk was too vanilla for my tastes.
Justice League
It’s the superhero ensemble film most have been waiting for
but didn't deserve. Justice League- the spiritual sequel to Batman Vs Superman:
Dawn of Justice, is an example of how last-minute production changes can screw
up a project. Zac Snyder who originally helmed JL had to opt out during filming
due to an unexpected family tragedy.
Enter Josh Wheldon from the Avengers movies to fill the
directorial shoes of Mr. Snyder and as a result, the movie suffers from a bit
if Schizophrenia, half dark and half lighter toned. Aside from the directional shift
other controversies that plagued this movie was Henry Cavil's CGI Stache
coverup, a lame ass villain, uninspired dialogue and to tip it all off,
unexplained scenes that focused on one family in Russia when the world was
faced with imminent danger.
Justice League had a rushed feel to it but its not that bad
a film, just should have spent more time in development cycle.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Judging from the first 40 mins, it's a serious letdown)
Here are a few other dishonorable mentions:
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (Then again, it comes as of
so surprise that this last sequel of Paul WS Anderson’s magnum opus, under performed.
I’m just glad that it’s over and here’s hoping for a much better reboot)
Alien Covenant (Clichéd, contrived and confusing at times
yet more entertaining than Prometheus.)
Ghost In the Shell (This and Death Note might be the death
knell of Anime adaptations.)
Worst Movie of 2017
Ok, this one is an extra category of its own. And it falls
within the worst film of 2017! Remember when I mentioned that I was going to be
easy on my picks of disappointing films? "I lied"!!
The Mountain between us is not only boring, unintentional
comedy, but it's full of silly tropes.
The premise of this Rom-Dram, is two strangers board a noncommercial
flight to wherever, but suddenly the pilot catches a heart attack thus crashing
the plane into the snowy mountains and it's up to the couple and the pilot's
doggie to fend for themselves while developing a bond so tight they...
..ah, fuck this wannabe Hallmark presentation!
Idris my brother, you bitched about starring in a Marvel
film, yet you put out shit like this, the Dark Tower and now Gurella ? In the
words of Sho Nuff-"
Videogames
Marvel Vs Capcom Infinite
After the excellent Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3 game, I
rejoiced after learning that game developer Capcom were working on a sequel to
their Versus series.
Now that it has finally arrived, I am not too impressed. For
starters, the weak storymode, served no purpose to playthrough aside from
unlocking a bonus stage. The graphics although containing more of a 3D
aesthetic, was a bit dull compared to 2012's Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3.
The developers of this game made the combos easier for noobs
via pushing one fucking button and the super moves are recycled from the last
games. Talk about consistency!
I'm bothered by the lack of more characters and by that, I
don't mean the X-Men franchise since Disney and Marvel had taken umbrage with
the film's distributor, FOX until they of course, bought the company.
However, in the meantime, Capcom had plenty of other
characters to choose for their Marvel roster, instead, we have Black Panther,
Winter Soldier, Black Widow, Sigma and Venom as DLC?!?
Way to nickel and dime your loyal customers, Capcom! Fuck
you!
With that being said, it’s a ok beat em up. At a discounted
price, which I paid for.
Television
The Walking Dead
What started off promising during the season 6 finale and on
to the premier episode of the seventh season, this once critical darling of AMC
has jumped the Shark, or rather “bit the bat" as in Lucille.
Season 8's episodes were full of filler material, empty rallying
speeches and uninspired gunfights that were unintentional callbacks to the
A-Team!
Jeffrey Dean Morgan is very charismatic as main baddie
Neegan, but despite his character's level of ruthlessness with a slick,
leanback, Neegan lacks the creepy factor of the Governor.
Oh, and there's that CGI Tiger..I guess "Richard
Parker" (Life of Pi reference.) Gotta eat.
Inhumans
Jack King Kirby is spinning in his grave. Not only flipping
on his stomach so Marvel can kiss his ass for screwing him over, but for
ruining yet another creation of his.
Marvel' Inhumans is basically Disney's poor attempt at
establishing a "X-Men" franchise that began during the lackluster
Agents of Shield.
Iron Fist
I was a huge fan of the Iron Fist comics since the classic
Clairemont/Byrne run from the 70's and now that I have watched all episodes of
the highly anticipated series based on this kick ass character, to say how
disappointed I was, is an understatement!
Guerrilla
This semi factual series is based on real life Black Power
militia movement during the early seventies racial era in England.
The British Black Panther party is determined to shake
things up after the mistreatment and oppression of Black immigrants. While the
premise sounds very exciting if not promising, the execution falters a bit.
My biggest complaint about Guerrilla, is how the female
party anarchist is portrayed as Asian-Indian while the six part series
overlooking the Black female radicals who in reality, played a deeper role in
the struggle for social justice while battling oppression.
Idris Elba makes a few appearances throughout the series;
however, they could have done so much more with his character. Overall,
Guerilla makes for a decent history lesson, despite certain parts of the
narrative having a scintilla of "revisionist history".
Ray Donovan
This season was a bit too melancholic compared to the
previous offerings. A major supporting
character bites the dust and prior to that, there are constant flashbacks and
flash forwards that served as pieces for this season's puzzle. And to
complicate things further, the producers threw in a noir plot device that lead
to nowhere at the end of this season.
However, there is a story arc that takes a different turn
for both Ray and his unscrupulous father, Mickey.
Loyalty and faith are put to the test whether it’s Ray’s
siblings, his kids, business associates and his self-esteem. There was not enough emphasis on survivor's
remorse and a few episodes contained both bad titles and very bad songs! (See:
Shirley Duvall and Horses)
2017 has its share of great mediums from pop culture, but of
course there are the underperforming examples.
What’s your biggest disappointment s? Drop em in the
comments section below!
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